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The "Space" For Me

Problems....
There are always one,
How we solve & face it,
is a matter of fact how much we want this thing to continue,
want a both side happy ending or just selfishly thinking of him or herself....
But this depends on how u think of it, nth is definitely right and wrong, tolerance and patience not many people can achieved in a balance....
Me too, is an ordinary person with different thinking with many of u, and i do hav my limits towards things tht i despise. By sharing my thoughts, it is a release for me to keep my life in a more positive way... Welcome everyone! =)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

~Could Not Believe~

now alr 12 sth...
almost strike 1am...

i am here typing all the way....
tmr will be the 2nd paper...
haih...
had been studying the whole day...
like no use...

everything requires memorising...
talk bout memorising....
haih....
dun even wan to mentioned alr...
dun wan to rmb alr...
let it be...
over ady...
wat more i can do but to work hard for the rest of the papers...

haih...
always...
always start with a bad start....
idiotic...
hate it...
spoilt my mood...
but do not hav the rite to say stop...
every minute n seconds counting...
will just hav to force myself to cont to work harder n harder....

wish everyone taking RnD paper Gud Luck...
tmr will be one hell of a paper...
we will see wat it comes out tmr...
it might just as well do not need any theories..
everyone will be bringing their trumpets instead to the exam hall...
blowing all the way only....
better had more ideas...
w definitely need tht to maybe...
MAYBE get marks...

hopefully this tutor dun like us too much..
wan us to fail so tht she can see us again...
better not think so far...
concentrate on memorising for now...

(Diana) <3

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Breath In... Breath Out

clock is ticking...
tmr is the start of Finals..

First subj is the hardest of all...
haih...
very scared..
still so blur with all the stupid steps...

hopefully it is not as bad as it seems...

cant even leave my chair...
dun even hav the time to go for a short break..
i think i shud watch a movie to relax awhile..
suffocating alr..
need some noise to distract me...

k lo...
to the rest who are having finals..
chill chill chill...
haha..
gambate!

(Diana) <3

Friday, April 24, 2009

Very Very HOT!!

The weather these days...
really Beh Tahan~~~

super duper duper HOT!!
in an air-conditioned room also can sweat...
just imagine tht...
idiotic weather...
HOT HOT HOT~~

wan to study also cant really concentrate...
plus...
hands keep sweating...
ewww...
haih...

pls rain rain rain...
i wan rain now...
too hot alr~~

will my wish come true?
hopefully~~
i wan ais kacang now, haha

(Diana) <3

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

~sth i learnt~

i learnt sth today....

forgive is a smile, it will bring happiness to everyone

hold grudges is sth you insist, it will only bring unhappiness to everyone

when u made a mistake, a simple smile with a sorry...
can make things simpler...
but of course it depends on situation...
but i believe when u are willing to say sorry...
meaning you know you are wrong...
or you wan to make things simpler...
sorry is the best way to make things better...

hold grudges is sth painful and suffering...
learn to forget and release...
it will not only give other ppl peace...
most importantly, you do not hav this worries...

forgive is a smile, hold grudges is wat you insisted...
think wisely...

(Diana) <3

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fu's 21st B'day

Tick tock tick tock...
alr passed his b'day...

let the pics show how the celebration goes...
1st stop..

early celebration...
at shabu shabu (puchong)
us... taking pics as the steamboat really filling.. so full...

me n angel with the b'day boy... as usual act cute with his dimples.. haha
thn they really hav nth to do... the do re mi fa so la... short to tall.. lol..

thn, on the real day...
at my house...
small little cake.. aiks.. srry... but we made it this way.. with all the candles around it..
tada~~ here is how it looks like when it is lid up... hav to put newspaper under it... just in case the candle drop...
Happy 21st B'day... his cake so unique.. haha, so nice...
the b'day boy...
This is wat happens when he blowed out all the candles... haha... all his sliver around the cake... lol..

haha, very blur.. my stupid hp camera.. in my house.. the cake look so small...sobs.. really srry...

Last but not least...

me wishing u again... handsome, happy and healthy always... hope u had an enjoyable 21st b'day... ^^

~End End End End End End End End End End End End End End End End ~
p/s: haih, who can help me.. i am not studying.. haih haih haih...
(Diana) <3

Saturday, April 18, 2009

>Been Tagged<

Although it will be in mandarin, dun wrry..
will translate into mandarin english as i dun like to type mandarin plus lazy...
hehe

Notice : questions in mandarin with translation plus answers only in english version

遊戲規則:被點到名字的人要在自已的blog裡寫下答案。去掉一個你最不喜歡的問題,再加上一個新的,傳給其它8個人。列出其它8個被點名的人,到他們的blog裡留言通知。被點名者不得拒絕。被點名的人將會得到大家的祝福(認真),並且所有願望都會實現。
(the game goes where whoever was tagged hav to write their answers in their respective blogs. Besides, cut of one question that you do not like and add in a new question and send to 8 person. List out the 8 persons name on your blog and leave a ms g on their chat box that they are tagged. Whoever was tagged cannot reject. The person who was tagged will be blessed with blessings(seriousness), and with the wishes of dream come true.)

01.你認為分手後的男女朋友還能做普通朋友嗎?
01. Do you think is there any possibilty for couples remain friends after they broke up?
Answer: Yeah, i think they could... just that it depends on time i guess.. maybe not straight away, it takes time...

02.你最希望從朋友(不包括愛人)那裡得到的是什麼?
02: What do you hope to get from your friends(not including your lover)?
Answer : I feel a pair of listening ears.... somebody who will just listen to ur happiness or sadness, just the company from friends...

03.最近最鬱悶的事?
03: What is bothering you recently?
Answer : Currently not bothered anymore, kind of und wat is happening alr.. therefore only left finals~~~

04.最受不了自已哪個缺點?
04 : What you cant stand yourself the most?
Answer : thinking too much when maybe things is just as simple as that, alr know 99.9% is me thinking too much but still cant pull myself out... easy to get angry... n easy to get crazy...

05.遇到喜歡的人,你是勇敢表白還是默默關注?
05: If you meet someone you love, will you said it out loud or just keep quite about it?
Answer : For me, i will keep quite i guess... not really sure wat i will do.. not tht stg yet...

06.說出點你名的人的3個優點
06: List out three good things about the person whom had tagged you
Answer : Kah Khin - in memory(sweet gurl, happy go lucky gurl, helpful)

07.你現在最想擁有的是什麼?
07: What you want the most now?
Answer : I wan to travel, away from here... wan to go somewhere where nobody knows me... just a place to relax.. n maybe get a mat salleh back.. haha~~ yea... i really want tht... like rite now...

08.你的夢想是什麼?
08: What is your dream?
Answer : My dream is to get a gud career as in a job that i like... a BMW (my dream car).... a partner who loves me more than i do (so tht i wont be so tired) haha...

09.喜欢现在的生活吗?
09: Do you like your life now?
Answer : so so.... bumpy life... but could not ask for more... must appreciate~~

10.如果要被關起來十五年,除了離開之外什麼都能做的話,要做什麼(複選,生涯規劃亦可)?
10: If you will be locked up for 15 years, you can do whatever you want besides leaving that place, what will you do (plan you future)?
Answer : if really so... i think i will go crazy... now with all the thingsi hav... also hav possibility to go crazy.. not leaving a place... lagi easy to go crazy...

11.什么人是你最欣賞的?
11: What kind of person you admire the most?
Answer: I admire my sister, i rmb i wrote an essay of her when i was sitting for my SPM english essay... i admire her personality... fighting for what she want, making sure she get it... i admire her courage, i admire that she can stand strong, not budging although she received a lot of rejection... i like her spirit... coz tht is wat i lack of...

12.如果你只有一天的时间去完成一项任务,你会想做什么?
12 : If you are only given one day to finish one mission, what would you want to do most?
Answer : watch all the movie i have... @.@

13.十年之後,你想過什麼樣的生活?你打算如何實現呢?
13: After ten years, what kind of life would you want to have? How do you want to fullfil it?
Answer : Of course i want a comfortable life, with a nice house, nice husband, nice car.... I will work hard and make sure i am earning for the family also.... i would not want to be a housewife... at least not until i say stop...

14.先阶段想做什么?
14: What you want to do currently?
Answer : Study well for the last year of my Degree.. at least get a second upper degree...

15.如果中樂透三億會怎麼辦?
15: If you strike lottery for 3 million, what you going to do with it?
Answer : save up some for my ptptn loan, thn save up 2million, half a million gv both my parents... the rest will spend for a new lappy, all those gadgets, clothes... watsoever i would wan... dun wan to list alr.. starting to imagine lots of stuff

16.满意自己的身材吗?
16: Are you satisfied with your figure?
Answer : definitely not... so fat... hav to slim down..haih, so hard... pls ask the food to dun look so tasty n lovely.... not my fault ok...

17.年終要領多少才算OK?
17: At the end of one year, how much to retrieve will be considered OK?
Answer : actually dun really get the meaning of this question, i know i am stupid... erm.. i think shud be retrieve for daily expenses shall do... dunno did i answered the question...

19.一個月多少錢才算OK?
19 : How much to spent in one month only considered OK?
Answer : RM 600above... have to hav more, for emergency...

20.最想到哪里举行婚礼?
20: What is your most desirable place for your wedding?
Answer : currently this is a far far plan ahead... but currently, i would like to have my wedding on a free land with nice grass and flowers... on top of a mountain where breeze of winds keep blowing your face... and i would arrive there with a helicopter... a grand opening.. haha~~

21.雖然很八股題了,但還是想問一下,愛人好還是被愛好?
21: Although like very old fashioned, but still would like to ask whether being loved or love that person better?
Answer: personally i feel being love is better as it wont be tiring...

22. What is the thing that you wish ppl could notice bout you?
Answer : the good side of me i guess... not only my bad personalities...

23.最希望自己具備哪一種超能力?
23: What kind of powers you would like to have?
Answer : I would like the power to memorise for now, but if it is not fo finals, i would like to hav the ability to fly... i wan to fly as freely as a bird...

24.有没有自杀倾向?
24 : Do you hav any suicidal signs?
Answer: got think before wan to die.... a lot of times... but only think la of course... coz when u die, ur problem still exist... u wont settle anything... hav to not only study smart but live smart '.^

~ The End~
and here goee the list whom i will be tagging
srry guys, you are just plain unlucky to be picked by me

*Angeline Cheng*
*Michelle Sek*
*Jamie Ng*
*Jing Yi*
*Joan Heng(Yam Jie)*
*Wong Tze Kit*
*Pui Yee Wynki*
*Nicholas Ng Kok Hoong*

(Diana) <3

Friday, April 17, 2009

``Insecure``

just came back from steamboat...
on the way home...

felt so insecure...
keep having this thinking...
something is going to go wrong...
either the car got prob..
or my parents at home is in trouble...

keep having this thoughts...
keep thinking making me feel so scared...
came back home alr...
while opening my door...
i dunno y it could not budge...
it make my heart stop awhile..
after a hard push, it opened..
i so scared there s sth wrg...
or someone is in my house...
preparing to attack..
or maybe a gud side..
is my parents lock me out...

zzzz...
back to my room...
also dun feel save at all...
while bathing..
also thinking...
whether anyone hide in my wardrobe...
zzzz...
dunno wat i am thinking...
came out frm the bathroom...
felt so scared...

suddenly my hp rang...
scared the hell out of me....
thinking y so late still got ppl called..
found out is just a msg..
finally sitting down here....
felt mch better...
haih...
just thinking too much...
siao @.@

nites guys~~ muacks~~ ^^

(Diana) <3

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"Friends"

i believe everyone hav diff characteristic of frens...
some might be quite, some might be crazy, loud n noisy...

when u r in this group,
everything u do with them...
u r part of them...
when maybe one day...
or u no longer mingle with them....
maybe is holiday...
or just plainly u dun keep in touch...
they will soon forgot u even exist....
they will not even rmb ur existence...

when suddenly one day...
u reappear...
u will just feel...
somehow u r not fit in to this circle of frens anymore...
u r like an additional person...
meaning u r here or not...
it doesnt matter...
better still u r not around...

or if....
ur reappearance could actually help...
ur circle of frens...
they will sort of 'welcome" u back...
by listening to ur ideas...
such a reality world..

when u could entertained them...
maybe gv them laughthers or fun...
u r part of them....
when u dun keep in touch...
it is like u r no longer part of them...
as it is like u had certified urself ...
not belonging with them ....

or another way...
although u might not be part of them...
but u r still usable...
they will used u...
to get watever they need....
when they had reaches wat they get...
u r just a piece of garbage...
not important...
left at one side...
n again be forgotten...

but true also...
who will bother to talk to u..
if u do not hv wat they want...
say in a nice way..
it is helping each other..
say it in a bad way...
like once my fren said...
frens is to be used and allow ppl to used...
利用in mandarin....

cruel yet...
it is the reality....
take it n live with it...
(but i believe... somewhere around... there is always true friends...)

(Diana) <3

Sunday, April 12, 2009

~`~Finals~`~

everyone seems preparing for finals alr...
my housemate had started weeks before ...
for me....

aiks~~
the usual last minute...
brought back all the notes...
but didnt even touched it yet...

not dun wan to touch also..
really no time...
as my siblings was back for this weekend...
they just went home just now...

misses them alr....
was gud to hav them back...
although is for a short while...
more laughters...
just simply luv the atmosphere...
haih...
but happy moments always last for a short time....
they just back and now they are away....

notes notes notes~~
haven even touched u yet...
nor hav the mood to.....
but...
hav to force myself to...
as it is tough...
especially MRIP...

`when it comes to finals, it puts an end to a semester, there goes a cycle of everything again`

(Diana) <3

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A story which reflects real life~

Once,
there is a newly wed couple,
one day...
the husband said to his wife : i am leaving to find a living until i could afford to provide a comfortable life to you... in condition, u hav to be loyal to me and i will be loyal to you...

this husband found a job where he tell his employer:
please let me work as long as possible, when i want to leave, please let me go and give me money that i had earned...

after 20 years,
this man tell his boss, i want to go home...
his boss replied : i will do as wat we had promised or will give you 3 advice but you wont get ur money...
after the man think for 2 days, he told his boss he want the advice...

thn the boss tell him 3 advice :

1st advice : always rmb not to use a short cut, a short cut and unfamiliar road will cause you ur life...

2nd advice :always rmb not to be curious with things that might turn out bad as it will cause you ur life...

3rd advice : always rmb not to make decision when you are frustrated and wanted to take revenge as u will regret for the rest of ur life..

The end of the story is...
the boss gave the man 3 breads, two to eat on the way home and one for his wife...

so he took off...
on the way, he met a guy who asked him to follow him for a short ut back to home...
after thinking of his boss advice, he decided to used back the normal way...

when he took a rest in a hotel, he heard a loud scream....
but again rmb his boss advice, he went back to sleep...
the next day...
while having a cup of coffee,
the owner asked him did he heard any noise yesterday...
he say he did...
the owner cont to asked: aren't you curious?
he replied , i am not curious...
the owner only inform tht he is the first customer whom are alive walking out frm this hotel as the owner's son had crazy sicknesswhom killed all the customers yesterday..

thn this man cont his journey back home..
when he reached his home...
frm outside, he saw his wife...
on her laid a man...
she was brushing his hair..
the man was heart broken and wanted to killed his wife tht instant...
but after recalling his boss advice..
he just walked pass and will just see her later n tell her tht until now he is still loyal to her...
when he see her...
she was so happy and rushed to hugged him...
the man told her that he is still loyal to her, and she also replied the same...
but he cont to say u had betrayed me...
thn his wife explained, the man was his son...
his 20 year old son .....

A lot of things isnt wat it seems, sometimes it is wat u want it to be....
try looking from another point of view...
try to at least put others in ur shoes...
maybe u will know or maybe could understand...
tht actually they hav their reasons also...
or maybe gv a chance to other to at least explain....
it is not always wat it look like...
n bear in mind tht...
a person might change when time passes...
do not set in ur mind tht they are forever tht way...
they might alr changed
or might alr making effort to changed...
we shud gv them chance to change....
and not setting them as always the bad person...

(Diana) <3

Monday, April 6, 2009

``Black Butterfly``

hmm..
how to start...
today when i woke up...
my mum was sleeping in the hall...

suddenly my cousins came...
as it is tomb-sweeping day..
they came to pick up my mum to pray my passed away grandma...
while opening the door...
a big and dark black butterfly...
came in fluttering its wings....
the first thought it came to me...
is...
had my grandma came?

i dunno much bout a black butterfly...
dun really know wat is the meaning of one either...
but i heard before...
it is the soul from the death...

mum n me prepared...
thn we left the house...
my mum even on the air-cond..
where the butterfly settle itself...
just under the air-cond....

on the way to my grandma place...
me n mum look at each other..
i knew we are thinking the same thing...

when we are home...
the black butterfly was still there...
the same spot...
cmfortably at the same spot...
we opened the door..
seeing whether it will leave the house...
it stayed there...
even until now...

i guess...
it is my grandma..
coming back to a place she finds comfortable...

i was curious is my statement true...
whether is it a soul from the death...
practically from other cultures...
it came out tht there is different perspectives....

this is some i look through from the internet...

First of all the butterfly symbolizes new life from and old one. Seeing that the color black is a strong yet subtle color, the black butterfly symbolizes the new strong but subtle life after a period of transformation. In some cultures the butterfly is also considered to bring luck
The butterfly exists in four distinct forms. Some consider that so do we: The fertilized egg is planted in our mother's womb. From our day of birth we are like the caterpillar which can only eat and creep along. At death we are like the dormant pupa in its chrysalis. After that, our consciousness emerges from the cast off body, and some see in this the emergence of the butterfly. Therefore, the butterfly is symbolic of rebirth after death.

There is a Native American legend that says, " If you have a secret wish, capture a butterfly and whisper your wish to it. Since butterflies cannot speak, your secret is ever safe in their keeping. Release the butterfly, and it will carry your wish to the Great Spirit, who alone knows the thoughts of butterflies. By setting the butterfly free, you are helping to restore the balance of nature, and your wish will surely be granted."

The butterfly is a reminder to make changes when the opportunity arises. Change and transformation are inevitable for us all, but it does not have to be traumatic. Butterfly symbolism is also closely tied to the idea of spirits and souls. It has been used in many religions and cultures. In the western world, the symbol of the butterfly stands for freedom, fun and joyous times. It is also symbolises a state of naturalness and purity.

The butterfly symbolises the metamorphosis through life, from infancy to old age. White butterflies represent rebirth and renewal, black butterflies represent death though not necessarily an ending.

In Ireland, it was believed that black butterflies were the souls of the dead, who were forced to wander the earth because they couldn't find their way to the Afterlife.

There is so many different views from the internet...
maybe i just stick to my thinking...
as it is not often to see butterfly nowadays...
not even a small one i shud say...
a big and black butterfly...
it shud meant sth...
or wat u guys think?
wat it meant?

btw i did capture the black butterfly...
did anyone of u seen this kind of butterfly?
I think i see it somewhere... maybe in the museum i guess... LOL... i not sure.. maybe somewhere in my dreams....

Btw, i miss my pet... cant play...
haih... line is bad.. cant get in... miss miss miss~~
till thn...
nites~~
(Diana) <3

Friday, April 3, 2009

A trip to Jusco

actually been reluctant...
thinking whether wan to go home or not...
but in the end i did make the rite choice...

once back home...
straight took the car key ...
n drove mum n i to Jusco...
as it is Jusco Member Card Day....
jam n no parking is alr predictable...
imagine ppl actually take leave to go this places....
one example is frm my cousin whom really did took leave for this...

so....
drive drive drive....
finally reach the parking lot...
but do not know wat kind of route they had planned...
just one round, lead to the exit which hav to go all the way down to the exit...which came up just like 1minute ago...
zzzz...
took all the trouble to make a U-turn n come in to the car park again..
making sure not to take the same route which leads to the exit...

searching parking space is a task...
my mum was so excited....
how to say...
cant wait to just rush in n buy stuff??

the scenario is we following ppl whom came out to get their car....
we saw this lady with her children...
so we follow follow...
but suddenly dunno y missed her..
my mum was so "excited"
she like practically screaming alr....
telling me to see properly...
n blaming me not following closely....
the most extreme part is....
asking me to let her down....
so tht she could go n find the lady...
aiks~~
but due to her hard "effort"...
although didnt manage to find the lady...
we manage to find a parking space soon enough...

after getting a parking space...
i was like looking at my mum....
not in an angry way....
i just felt funny....
was smiling all the way....
my mum even covered her face, knowing tht she gone way out of hand...
losing herself with just shopping spree....

once the lift open....
humans...
everywhere is pack with humans..
i told my mum, ur heaven....
the entire time i was with her...
i kept smiling...
my mum ask me y...
i just answered her....
i wonder will i be like u when i am at ur age??

LOL....
really wonder...
all the ppl around me....
all having trolleys pack with stuff....
n worst still the Happy Hours they hav....
lol....
pack with ppl....
n Jusco no longer like Jusco...
they are like Pasar Malam shouting on top of their voice...
n some even had the speaker thingy...
ask the customers to come n buy....
the sight really makes me dizzy...

n to make things worst....
with all this constant moving with ppl...
my mum lost her hp...
which was no where to be found....
just bad luck....
suddenly gone missing...
but alr lucky...
lucky it is not purse tht was stolen....
at least the hp is not tht expensive also...
but the wasted thing is there is RM50 Jusco voucher in it....
sigh~~~

Lesson 1: dun be too excited until u left ur belongings neglected... (especially do not hang it on the trolley where ur bag is easily exposed)

Lesson 2: dun think ur hp isnt expensive, no one will want to take.... days are bad, watever also they would want to take...

Lesson 3: best not to take bags to these places where they had sales n pack with ppl... is alr a hassle to take care of the things u need to buy...plus another bag, is easy to neglect especially if it is small.. u wont really notice with all the crowds...

haih...

(Diana) <3

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Close Ur Eyes, and everything will be Forgotten````

If things could be this simple...
just by closing ur eyes..
watever u r worrying will not matter at all...

If things could be this simple....
i wish it could happen rite now...
the laughters, pet society and even movies i luv...
could not really bring back the happy mood...

although still feel moody...
but i believe it is just sth i haven figure out rite now...
dun wan to mention, dun wan to even think...
let it be....
just thinking in the wrong direction....
is time to wake up....
like rite now~~

haih....
still not really over it yet...
better get some study done~~

(Diana) <3

I dunno Y anymore.....

i do not want to know...
do not want to even look...

let it be....
is always been like tht....

makes me sick....
wat for?

(Diana) <3