Now only i know...

those ppl who always ffk...
really must listen to this..

the victim of ffk..
now i really know how it feels like..

yes, if u didnt promise anything..
u ffk , thn nvm..

but if u promise alr...
but u didnt do it,
thn it is definitely ur fault!!!

was so angry..
even put down the phone harshly..
as in the end is cancelling..
when i alr prepared everything..
somemore postponing the time and changing location in between..
just becoz u cant come back in time..
i alr tolerate with tht..

thn in the end, u just call me..
n say tht can change to other time n cancel today's outing..
since u alr promise..
u shud hav do watever u are doing faster..
n get ur butt back asap...
y all the delays??

n i dun get the reason tht u stayed behind so late..
wat is tht??
wat kind of service is tht..
i dun get it..

now the outcome really gud..
u not talking to me..

damn it!!
make my mood freaking turn bad!!
dun mistaken..
is just a girlfriend..
not any boy ...

Damn angry!!

(Diana) <3

Now only i know...

past isn't that important anymore

"There comes a point in your life, when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they will never make it to your future."

recently, saw one of my fren post this on fb..

i find it very very true..
wat matters is now...
although ur past determines who u r now..
but wat really matters is who is with u rite now, rite this moment.

those who never make it to ur present, they are just bypassers..
they are meant to be ur bypassers..
no attachment...
not much of a relationship..

i always thought tht, after foundation..
it is really hard to find real friends..
not to say those whom u can talked..
some even going out together was a pain in the ass...
i am not pin pointing on anyone..
just giving an example though..

but somehow ,
now i realise...
at a point or stage..
u will hav different frens..
i might be ur really gud fren rite now..
as we shared the same hobby, same taste..
same topic, same environment..
but maybe...
after this stage..
we will meet different people..
we might not be tht close anymore..

a lot tried to maintain the friendship..
desperately asking each other to keep in touch..
but this never works..
if only one person is maintaining, n the other was losing touch...

i am going on to the next stage in my life...
a stage i am quite reluctant to step to...
working life...
work work work...
no more freedom, no more fun..
or more accurately is not much freedom and not much fun...

my point is..
we will be graduating soon...
do not forget tht we once are frens..
close or not close..
we once are...
msn we saw each other..
although there is no topic..
we could just say hi..
at least not just waiting somebody to nudge u...

we hav high technology..
but if we do not hav the heart...
no matter how high technology we hav..
they will be always a gap between us...
stay in touch guys...
who ever it is...

haih...

(Diana) <3

Misinterpretation

i hav no thought of my future..
no direction at all...

earlier i always wanted to be in sg...
as my siblings was there..
i can say hav a place to stay..
do not need to wrry bout accomodation...

i keep telling myself, my work will be there...

thn one day when i am down in sg...
suddenly a news strike...
telling me tht a place wasnt there anymore..
i thought i was no longer welcomed...
but tht time...
i still thought of other alternative...
asking around frens tht might wan to together rent a room...
at least i am not alone...

i didnt know my thinking was wrg..
wat lead me to thk any of this...

but now..
after the talking session..
i came to know tht..
is it not a place tht is the priority...
is the country where i wan to start from...
where i would like to start from?
i told her, i wan to start frm SG all the while..
but once i heard tht i no longer had a place to stay...

i totally gv up on tht thought...
she was pissed off..
saying me being silly...
thinking the wrg direction....
as i could so easily simply abandoned my future...
wat i really want..
all this while i knew SG is a much better option...
but the rental was really high...

but come to savings..
SG really could save more better than here...

haih..
although now i know i am actually welcomed...
but still...
i dun wan to thk any of it yet..
not until i end my finals..
haih either option, i still dunno wat can i do..
wat post to head to..

everyone seems to hav their own plan ahead...
i hav no clue at all..
some even secured themselves with a job..
n even a car...
haih...

dunno dunno dunno..
hope i can cont dunno...

(Diana) <3

blur.. so blur...

yest was just another normal day...
back at sg long home...
everyone does their own thing...


my housemates always will be in the hall...
all hav their lappys on the table...
although we r really "close" to each other..
meaning sitting really close to each other...
but we only talk when a question is asked..
or sth interesting tht a particualr person is watching..
we might group around n watch together..

sometimes somebody will start a topic tht is interesting..
the rest tht has the same interest will join in the conversation..
this routine is happening each day...
always the same..
nth much difference...

when it comes to dinner...
although we r a "family" here..
we go seperate ways...
all hav their own date or partner to eat with...
when there is some program on...
like movie or karaoke..
all hav their certain group of frens to mix with...

although we do much of the things independently with our diff frens...
but somehow..
it is a fade tht bring us together in living under one roof..

very fast...
another few more wks...
this so called a home place...
will be left with no one...
no more laughter, noise, chattering....
everything will be left like no one had stayed here before...

so fast everything happens...

yet now so afraid to lose everything now...
the freedom here...
the much freedom tht watever u do...
is on ur own time..
on ur own space...

besides freedom...
is the companion of frens..
no matter clsmates or housemates..
we will soon one day part our own ways...
walk diff paths..
go to diff countries...
maybe some proceed to diff Uni..
further their studies..
sooner or later...
the working life starts...

but my mind is blank..
blank with wat i wan..
i knew i wan to work..
n is a must to work...
but i do not know where shud i start...
resume??
career day didnt even bother to asked around...

although it seems ignorant...
is just dunno where to start..
wat shud i do 1st..
no one is directing me...
but just asking wat is my plan???
i am still a blur....

(Diana) <3

Bai Quan

recently too free ady
dunno wat can i do...

waiting for sth to drop on my head...

just watched Bai Quan..
somehow i feel i will be like her one day...
or maybe now alr partly is...

guys also like girls has small voice, nice face..
nice figure, talk softly...

hmmm...
mong huan...
ow xiang jued..
is only an imagination place...
i need to mong huan until when ne???

the answers lies somewhere in the future...
no answer...

haih..

(Diana) <3

Abandon Sanctuary

long time since i wanted to leave this blog...

nvr even come to take a look,
nor even i browse other blogs...

wat i hav been doing??
nth much, just wat a Uni student hav to do in Uni life..
assg, mid-term, presentation, finals...
n the circle goes again n again..

suddenly kinda miss my bloggy..
so i revisit my little sanctuary again..

i rmb the 1st day i made this blog..
i was actually troubled with sth related to my house in sg long...
so troubled..
tht i hav no where to really tell it out..
i made my little blog here..
frm thn onwards..

this blog became my place to release my anger, complaints n unhappiness...
rather than a blog tht share happiness..
i do not really post about outings..
wat i hav been doing lately..
i often blog when i feel unhappy...
or sth was really troubling me..

now..
currently...
there is not much worries..

rather wat is the future ahead...
kinda worries me..
i alr had a path...
prepared for me...
but i am still not set to really go for it...
maybe is not tht moment yet..

but the moment is alr coming soon..
really soon to be coming..
alr graduating real soon...

hope time could last longer in Uni...
being a student is much better than working..
more freedom, more time...
more lazing, more playing, more fun...
work will only constraint all this...

but shut tht working life away 1st..
as most of u all might further study..
haih..
apart~
diff path~
so blur future~

(Diana) <3