A Cruel Reminder

everyone been having their holidays...
some might be somewhere in an island..
or a diff country...
some might be just at home like me....
with their families and frens..

is alr 23rd of May...
a sudden reminder...
force me to think of it again...
it is the time where the results will be out soon...
anytime soon..

hav been not thinking of it alr...
busy myself with all the shows..
dun even wan to hav time to think of it...
sleep late...
wake up extremely late..
is alr my daily chores now...

while dad was lecturing through the phone...
i pull away my ear frm the phone..
afraid to listen too clearly...
afraid to listen the hideous me...
he say not to wait....
watever i had done on finals..
i myself know..
n i shud know where to bug up...
if any excuses i made up for finals..
is becoz i am not well prepared enough...
lazy~~

yea...
indeed i am not well prepared...
dun hav the heart to study...
not making initiatives...

but till the end...
no one could help me if i really screw up...
i hav to suffer alone...
as it is my future...
no one else...
frens n family only could help along the way...
the person who face it...
is me n nobody else...

this sem..
i really screw up too much...
dunno wat got into me...
but i believe it is all bullshit n excuses...
everybody does their part...
but i am not doing mine...

this is a cruel reminder....
cruel yet it is the reality...
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(Diana) <3