Believe In Urself

Now think of it....
This theme i gave for my blog....
actually is really wat i lack of...
i do not know how much capabilities i hav...
always a doubt....
do not know wat i am good at...

i rmb at home...
i Used to be a useless person....
often waited everyone to do everything for me...
as i had servant before...
i still rmb the way i ordered them...
like a big gurl giving instructions to them....
in one incident...
i rmbered i made one of my Kakak cried...
is like watever i asked....
is still not satisfying..
she broke down n say wat u wan me to do....
i alr did my very best....
those are the times...
even now i rmbered....
i am only bout 7 to 8 years old....
so small n yet not grateful at all....

thinking of those days...
make me who i am now...
still there are parts of me tht are still the same...
often own attitude is the worst part to hav any changes...
usually when u changes...
is sth happens badly tht made u changes...
just 1 year plus ago...
i rmbered i get my driving license....
i am so happy...
as i even had a car waiting for me to drive..
although is not wat fancy car...
but i can drive whenever i wan...

but 1st timer...
always wan to get things fast...
i know i am not really ready for it...
i am not stable..
not steady enough to handle driving...
the day when i told my mum..
i wan to drive alone to college...
she said ok....
of course will a tone of unwillingness....
my mum was worried...
but i told her...
how long u wan to follow me to college...
as the nx wk...
she will be flying to China....

so she reluctantly said yes...
n secretly drove another car n followed me...
i was so shocked after i parked my car....
n of course was angry tht she did not trusted me...
but once i cooled down...
i know i was wrg to even be mad at her...
this is the greatest mum i ever had..
worried bout her daughter...
worried sick tht she cant handle alone..
this is really a mum tht will do anything for me...
although she appears unwillingly...

one day...
after my assignments with my frens..
i fetch them back to their hostel...
it was raining...
i met an accident...
i was hit by the driver side...
i rmb i even said Shit...
my specs flew..
the glass shattered...
n it stopped spinning...
at tht split moment..
someone open my door...

a good Samarithan...
whom came out to be a Doctor..
lead me out of the wreck car....
i only realised..
i am in the middle of the road...
n he told me my car spin twice....
i am so blur...
head still spinning with dizzyness...
but i am not hurt...
all this happen in spilt seconds...

the nx thing i knew...
my parents came...
the nx day..
police station..
i was decuted marks...
bout 8 marks..
need to pay denda...
n my wreck car...
was nth worth more than a junk...
n i...
miraculously...
i survived...

my mom was worried sick...
my bro told me...
she sit there cry...
she even force me to see a doctor..
which i rejected...
i told her i am FINE...
now i recalled this...
without my family..
being so supportive all this time...
sacrificing a lot just becoz of me..
because of sth tht i did...
i hav no words to say but a big Thank You to all of them...

all this can happen...
they didnt even blame me..
especially my dad...
paying all the bills....
he didnt even utter a word...
didnt even complain...

even till now..
they are always very supportive...
always know when to gv a helping hand...
although i dun even asked...
i am just so damn lucky....
n i am really grateful to hav all of my family members with me...
for i know they will try hard to gv the best to me...
no matter wat it will be...
support, love, advise, listener....
all this is just irreplaceable...

Thanks for being there for me...
Thanks for listening to me...
Thanks for tolerating with me...
Thanks for giving the BEST to me...
Thanks for everything tht u all had ever gave me...
Thanks for being so understanding..
Thanks for being a good parents...
Thanks for loving me always...
Thanks for accepting who i am...
Thanks for not giving up on me....
Thanks for ur support n love....
I really appreciate a lot...
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

(Diana) <3